Monthly Archives: October 2014

My One and Only Mom Halloween Hack

I’m the Mom of an eight year old boy.

Like most Moms, I just hope for the best. Parenting is a hope and a prayer – hope that your child will survive the trauma of living under your household rules and mowing your grass for 18 years, as well as the prayer that they will reject drugs and alcohol and the impulsivity of youth.

I only have one Halloween Hack. Just one – but it has served me well for the past 5 years.

In case you haven’t been to a costume store lately, costumes for boys have changed a lot in the past ten years. Instead of suffocating plastic masks and heavy faux velvets, most kid’s costumes today are made out of the thinnest polyester. No matter if they are a super hero, a monster, or an animal, the costumes have gotten so thin that the chill October weather just whips right through all that baby fat.

So what is a good Halloween Mom supposed to do for her little boy?

The cheap cotton/spandex underclothes are located here

The cheap cotton/spandex underclothes are located here

Longjohns sound like a good idea, but honestly – they are not that easy to find at a reasonable price point, and most of them have a pattern that would show through any light-colored costume (I’m referring to you, Star Wars characters).

Sooooo… what to do, what to do?

You gotta know where to look in the store, people

You gotta know where to look in the store, people

My Halloween Hack is to quietly (don’t make a big deal out of this) wander into the girl’s section of the store and nab a black cotton/spandex shirt and black cotton/spandex leggings.

SSSSHHHHHHHH!!!! You are in the girl’s section! Be careful! Don’t get caught!

These tops and bottoms really are androgynous

These tops and bottoms really are androgynous

Dress your male child in these reasonably warm underthings for their Halloween Extravaganza, and everybody wins. Those tight-fitting skeleton and Storm Trooper costumes will appreciate the extra layer.  Plus- your beloved child has underclothes on (believe me – this is an issue) and the underclothes offer a layer of warmth and coverage.

Thin polyester costumes do not keep children covered or warm

Thin polyester costumes do not keep children covered or warm

Everybody wins.

And – it’s my only Mom Halloween Hack. I know that you know what I mean.

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